I got some great feedback the night I did my show from a fellow dramatis personae. She said, “You were vulnerable but not a victim”. That meant so much to me. Part of the reason I tried to make everyone think everything was ok all the time was because I don’t want people’s pity.
I don’t want people to feel “sorry” for me or think of me as weak or incapacitated. I needed to work and I wanted everyone to think everything was “fine” because who wants to hire someone who is a mess?! I am, indeed, strong. And, I HOPE I show my strength by my willingness to BE vulnerable. There are times when I’m a mess, but I’m still here and still working on it, still figuring it out, still unpacking the bricks, still feeling the pain, still striving to just be myself, whatever that is day to day.
The point is, I don’t post these things or craft these posts to have people feel bad for me, pity me, provide me with “poor you”. I HATE that! But, I’m no longer willing to hide. My quest for authenticity encourages me to be scathingly open about how this whole thing works.
So, this is it. This is what you’ll be reading here if you hang in there with me on this forum.