Grief, Woman, and Song
Here’s who I am: a woman, a mom, a widow, a singer, a performer, an artist, and an expert griever.
And, when the aggrieved are suffering, expressing their sadness by saying, "my mom died", you wouldn't reply, "Well, all moms die. so, I don't know why you feel so bad. You need to just get over it. It happens to everyone."
I’m homeless now. For a time. You see, I moved out of the condo. A friend dubbed that place “the treehouse”, since it was on the 3rd floor and faced the woods. That was the last home I shared with my husband. We were there...
There are many ways to experience grief. We grieve over the death of loved ones, to be sure. That's a biggie. We grieve over unrealized dreams or failed relationships or scarred childhoods......all because of how it feels. It's not because...
So, I'm going out on a limb here. I'm coming out of the closet. I've been reluctant to share with you just how deeply I'm still grieving. Why? Because people don't want to hear it. We, as a society are not comfortable with grief, are we. If we can't fix it, we're flummoxed on just what to do.
One of my biggest discoveries was that, when someone dies, the love does not. The love lingers on. And on. It doesn't leave you. The love and the spirit lives on forever.
The grieving doesn't end at the funeral! Yes, yes, everyone shares their stories and has a good laugh and a good cry. And, all of that support and camaraderie is wonderful. And, then it's gone. And, then it's silent. And, then everyone moves on. And, you don't. And, you STILL need to talk and let out the steam. For the griever, AFTER the funeral is when the grieving really starts.
Listen, before I went through all of this compound grief, I was a dumb ass about saying things straight out of the can! I'm sure I said, "Stay strong", or "God doesn't give you any more than you can handle".
During a grief group I attended, we were asked to write some things about our grief.
You know, I call myself an expert. But, I hold no degrees on the subject of grief.. Perhaps it would be better stated that I could consider myself an accomplished griever, rather than a “grief expert”.
I got some great feedback the night I did my show from a fellow dramatis personae. She said, “You were vulnerable but not a victim”.
When someone dies, not only does your relationship with that person change, but, chances are, your relationships with other people change, too. Sometimes you grow closer together, sometimes further apart. But, mostly, it just shifts to a new reality,...
I begin this process of blogging not really knowing where this will take me. I have been experiencing profound grief over the last 7 years. Except for one sister, I’ve lost my entire immediate family, including my husband. And, I’ve lost several...