It’s Just Like Grief. It’s Grief.

We’ve all been feeling what looks like/sounds like grief for a variety of reasons. Grieving for what was, grieving about what is and what isn’t, what could have been, what won’t be………….  

Inept Government Officials!

Pandemic!

Police brutality toward people of color, AGAIN! STILL!

Murder hornets!

Our senses are heightened, our spirits are overwhelmed, our emotions are right on the surface. Adrenaline and cortisol production are over the top. Yes, I’m sure this will take a toll on our collective health. Probably already is. 

Since my activities are curtailed and I’m not working, I have lots of time to ponder these topics.

When people say “All Lives Matter” in response to “Black Lives Matter”, I wondered if anyone thought about it this way. Everyone experiences grief when they lose a loved one. It’s especially keen when we lose someone in our intimate circle, a parent, a sibling, a spouse, a child.  And, when the aggrieved are suffering, expressing their sadness by saying, “My mom died”, you wouldn’t reply, “Well, all moms die, so, I don’t know why you feel so bad. You need to just get over it. It happens to everyone.” 

Yes, most people have lost a close loved one at some point, even a pet! And, we would be HORRIFIED if someone just dismissed their grief, brushed it aside as though THEY, the grievers, were making too much of their loss. We know (or we should know), as humans, we are charged with showing compassion because it’s the griever’s turn  to be on the receiving end of the comfort. Much in the same way that people of color deserve the acceptance of, the fervor about, the attention to this inequity that has oppressed them for centuries. YES, ALL LIVES MATTER, but, it’s time, it’s WAY PAST time for it to be their turn to matter the MOST for now because we’ve all been dismissing it for SO LONG! It’s our job as humans to make sure that we work, work HARD to right the wrong and stop telling people of color to “get over it!”. 

How long do we comfort the aggrieved? Until………….  We need to keep going until there is a significant corner turned toward healing and repair.  We don’t turn our backs. We don’t lose interest. We continue to comfort and listen and support until………….

As for the pandemic, everybody is trying to make plans; plans for when it’s over, plans for when it isn’t over, plans for schools and recreation and restaurants and theater and travel and sports and and and…….. I’ve been struggling with this like everyone else.  

Here’s something to think about.  I wonder if, individually, we can all just make our peace with no plan. Nothing planned other than what’s in front of us that day. Do your work. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. Have your meals, exercise, cry, scream, laugh, watch TV, contact your legislators, vote by mail, have zoom meetings and visits, meditate, journal, clean your house, do art projects, go to work (if you have a job), do what’s in front of you that day. Just one day. That’s all we really have anyway. Most of all, be kind to yourself and to others because we’re all tense. Try to smile behind the mask.

As for the hornets…..I’m out. I got nothing.

Take care of yourself.  Take care of one another. Be aware that everyone needs kindness, recognition and compassion because we’re all grieving over something……

 

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