You know, I call myself an expert, but, I hold no degrees on the subject of grief or grieving. I have no advanced training of any kind, no level of academic achievement whatsoever. Perhaps it would be better stated that I could consider myself an accomplished griever, rather than a “grief expert”. The only perspective I offer is my own, based on my personal experiences.
I have climbed high on the misery ladder only because of the plethora of deaths I’ve endured within a short time frame in my own life. And, grief is in charge, grief is the teacher, grief holds sway with how it’s going to happen, not me. I only want to open the topic so we can all stop avoiding it, stop being afraid of it, stop pretending it’s something it’s not. It’s NOT something you get over, it’s NOT something that has a beginning, middle and end, it’s not definable, containable or explainable.
So, what I offer is just suggestions on how to cope. Be kind to yourself, do the best you can, give grief the room that it needs in your life, let it flow through. Eventually it becomes part of you, and, therefore, easier.